celebrations & accountability....

....oh, i'm trying so hard to NOT miss my meghan.... sometimes the moments are so hard and i become quite melancholy.... then i start on missing my dad.... my older daughter and granddaughter..... then i feel sorry for myself.... but, i'm trying to be healthy about it... trying to plan something every day to keep me busy.... i must say, i MUST watch myself though.... i had to be driven home last week... yes, not too proud of myself at the moment... i was having WAY TOO MUCH FUN....  but, old habits can quickly come back to haunt you, should i have just walked away after having 1/2 a beer and a few sips of everyones drink, YES.  did i?   ....NO!!!!   .... i was stupid and had one shot... yep.. said it.  i. did.  ...then i paid the bariatric price..... SLAM..... so DRUNK, i almost died.   ....literally had an anxiety attack on the sensation i felt.   i. do. not. like. feeling. out. of. control.  ....and i felt that.... woah, is all i can say, BE CAREFUL PEEPS!  be way careful.   thank the good Lord i have a dear, dear friend who marched me right out the door, to her car, to her home, and to lovely bed.   ... i say this to you, for accountability on my part, and to forewarn you, 1/2 a shot, maybe, a full blown shot, NEVER!  eeek!  well, enough of my learning experience........

homemade US FLAG cake

......i had an amazing time with my friends and family yesterday.  the 4th of July is my second favorite holiday.  i think it stems from growing up in an amazing neighborhood in cincinnati, called pleasant run farms.  ....we had a yearly parade, swimming, block parties....  my dad made up crazy games for all of us kids, like, how many people can you put into a VW bug?   .....how hot, sweaty, and stinky it probably was, but do i "remember" that?...... no way...  i remember it just being fun, and there being arms and legs EVERYWHERE, and the squeals of laughter....   i had, in some ways a nostalgic childhood.   ...was it perfect?   ...no freakin' way.... but, i do know it was better than most... i was blessed to grow up in the midwest, with corn sold on the corners, a neighborhood i could roam in, woods i could "hide" in, and parents who were always having a watchful eye on us (even though we thought we were FREE!)

....yet, i digress... yesterday, we ate well (though much smaller and frequently in my past years).... we sang, we danced, we had fun, we kissed, we hugged, we laughed, we relaxed.... it was a good day... was it like any 4th of July i've celebrated in the past, NO!   .....but, it was a good 4th.... i pray yours was also.....please enjoy my family... quite talented group of offspring we've produced, dylan, my brother's son, is far left playing lead, my niece, danielle, my sister's daughter, is "helping out the band" with lead vocals..... what a fun summer i'll have seeing them play every monday nite at the River Roo.
godspeed~
xxoo~
nicole