i’ve talked on youtube before about cross addiction. i have many thoughts about this problem post gastric bypass. now i don’t have all your statistics, (i don’t want to bore you with them), but it’s stated that we are prone to cross addict after surgery…. here’s my thoughts, i am an addict. it doesn’t matter to what source. i have this compulsiveness within me. it’s there. it’s not going anywhere. but do i have to let my whole life be dictated by this “problem” that makes my fingers itch and my skin crawl at times. i think NOT! so when i was younger, maybe you experienced this, i was the kid that felt left out, like i didn’t belong, i compared my self to this person and that person. maybe that’s normal. maybe not. can’t change it. it is was it is. so i made some choices along the way that maybe weren’t the best. can’t undo it. have to forgive. forgive the people who were a part of it, and more importantly ME. so, we move on…. easy enough hugh? well i held onto something WAY TOO LONG. thank goodness that through my WLS i decided not to just fix the physical with my “tool”, good nutrition, supplements, vitamins, and JuicePlus+ â(i do sell it btw) i decided to work on my emotional and spiritual issues too. i’m learning to forgive. REALLY forgive. not lip service. not you’re forgiven and 24 hours later i’m chomping at the bit. when i’m ready to forgive, it’s HUGE. For ME! it’s cathartic. scary even. because it’s so freeing. I believe i’ll live because i’m not holding onto the “stuff”. it’s a kumbaya moment. but even if i don’t live longer, i’ll live more peacefully, more serenely, more happily, just because i forgave and let go. WOW! that’s freeing. so back to addiction…. besides going to my therapist, my bariatric support group, my YouTubeâ & Facebookâ friends for support, i picked up painting. who knew? some say i’m good. that i have talent. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i think i’m learning. i know i’m enjoying it. and it’s better than going back to old unhealthy behaviors… xxoo~nicole
p.s. paintings have names
the nuns ~ "she's always among us" ~(catholics will get this one, and christ in in the picture, see if you can find HIM....)
the fairy is named ~ "violet" (for donna who pushes and inspires me to paint, paint, paint)
the drive in is named ~"old times (for an OLD friend who has come back into my life and made me think and feel again)
the ballet dancer is named~ "black swan" (for the movie, dugh...)
the nude is named ~ "balance" (for meg, who wanted a koi...and mom wouldn't let her..lol)
I think you're onto something, doll. Yes, yes and YES! Forgiveness IS the key -- forgiveness of others, but as you said, S-E-L-F. It's amazing how much guilt and shame I have heaped on myself through the years...stuff that had absolutely NO BUSINESS being there. It was buried and dug in so deeply, I didn't even realize that I was FEEDING IT with my binge compulsion. Thank God for....well...GOD, and therapy, and support and friends. I am no longer afraid to face my addiction, because -- even if there are some bariatric professionals out there who dismiss food addiction as a reality, let alone a disease -- I KNOW what I know...There is hope, and you are part of the cure. Thanks for doing this; I simply LOVE your painting, but you know that :-*
ReplyDeleteThanks for being a part of life!
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